Thursday, March 17, 2011

Pocket Change

Never, never, never underestimate the power of pocket change.  Yesterday was a special day.  You know the days I am talking about.  The days when you look in your cupboard, then make your way to the fridge, and finally the freezer, and NOTHING looks good.  Everything either looks too boring, or you are just too darn lazy to cook it.  You then check your bank account... uh... we won't talk about that... You then try and think about some way you could possibly get a free meal from some place, and finally, You put your status on facebook to "Who wants to buy me dinner tonight?".  Needless to say, no one took me up on that offer. So here is my story...

My roommate Stephanie was also feeling the need to get some good food, but she also checked her bank account.... uh we won't talk about that either... she then suggested that we gather as much pocket change as we could to pay for our meal (yes we are that pathetic).  After carefully counting out exactly $7.00 in change:  five quarters, 56ish dimes, and I think one nickel (so what if I can't do the math)... anywho... after carefully driving my car through the small pond in our parking lot, Stephanie hopped in my little Dodge Neon and we headed off to our local Costa Vida.  I am a die hard Cafe Rio fan but due to our tight budget we had to go with Costa Vida for the daily student special.  Upon arriving at Costa Vida we excitedly got in line and decided on our delicious meals.  Much to our disappointment stupid Costa Vida raised their student special prices to $5.99 AND you HAVE to get a drink.  Gosh they stink!  So despite my anger I took much care in counting out my $5.99 and hoped so badly that they would allow me to get a second dressing instead of a drink because I hate soda and I like to have options with my dressings.    I then ordered my mango chicken salad with two dressings (still hoping) and made my way down the line.  As soon as I reached the end I greeted the cashier with my ever smiling face.  I carefully set down each pile of quarters and dimes carefully in stacks of dollars to ensure I could make the cashiers life easier.  I then looked up, made eye contact, and nicely asked if I could switch my drink with an extra dressing.  I even gave her a little wink to let her know I was one her side.  She then replied with a very stern and VERY rude "NO."  I was in shock.  How dare she use that tone with me?  She then gave me my total, which was over $8.00.  WHAT?  I nicely asked if I could receive the student special and again she replied with a snarky "You have to show me your i.d.  I can't just assume".  She said it with a frown on her face and a tone that you don't ever want me to repeat.  So what did I do?  Something that any stand up American would in a situation such as this, I looked that Costa Vida worker right in the eyes, pointed my pointer finger up in the air, and then took that pointer finger and proceeded to knock over each stack of dimes that I had nicely made for her ensuring she would have to recount it all.  As I began to turn away and walk away that darn Costa Vida worker, in her snarkiest tone yet said "You still owe me 51 cents."  I searched both my pockets and my little baggie of change and realized I was out of money.  My how the tables had turned.  My moment of glory had past and there I was standing there in the middle of Costa Vida feeling like a fool.  So then I went on to my last act of defiance.  I pulled up to the windows of Costa Vida in my classy Doge Neon, looked that Costa Vida worker in the eyes one last time and mouthed "VACUUM BENCH" to her, pushed my pedal to the medal, and SLOWLY accelerated out of the Costa Vida parking lot, while listening to my Neon downshift from all that work.  Thank you Dodge Neon for always being reliable on those quick getaways.  I have always loved a car that could reach 60mph in 5 minutes.

Today wasn't too eventful.  Who knows what I will do with the next half hour of my time.... maybe I will grow a boyfriend?



4 comments:

  1. You KILL me, girlfriend. KILL ME! How do you attract such hilarious occurrences in your life? I guess maybe by bringing $7.00 worth of pocket change to an eatery and then over-ordering. Maybe that, huh?

    Loved this story! Keep them comin' sistah!

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  2. You KILL ME! Seriously I was laughing SO hard at your blog! Yeah, I pretty much bring these things upon myself. What can I say? I am a freaking weirdo!

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  3. Whits I can't take it. You are as funny as Kimi, and you post more often than she does. Love it love it love it!

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  4. Woohoo I am SOOOO glad you love it!

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